


like spinning plates

by starmuphin



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Depression, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, sea salt trio adopts vanitas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-03-06 14:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18852910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starmuphin/pseuds/starmuphin
Summary: After everything was said and done, the boy that looked like Sora doesn't’ start walking along with the rest of them.  When someone asked about it, the woman with blue hair said quite bluntly, “He’s a monster. Just leave him behind.” The man next to her said nothing and that guy who looked like him kept his head down, his eyes darting back and forth.  The trio walks away, following the woman’s lead and catching up with the King.  Axel makes a grunting sound.“Now that’s just cold...”-The Sea Salt Trio adopts Vanitas.





	1. Roxas

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my docs for so long but then shit happened and I was able to make myself finish most of the chapters, cuz I ain't posting shit unless most of it is already done.

After everything was said and done, the boy that looked like Sora doesn't’ start walking along with the rest of them.  When someone asked about it, the woman with blue hair said quite bluntly, “He’s a monster. Just leave him behind.” The man next to her said nothing and that guy who looked like him kept his head down, his eyes darting back and forth.  The trio walks away, following the woman’s lead and catching up with the King. Axel makes a grunting sound.

“Now that’s just cold...” 

Roxas watches him walk away towards the boy, who gets into a defensive stance for a moment until Axel waves his hands around trying to pacify him.  He says something and whatever it is, the boy settles and says something back. A few moments go by with Axel grinning and putting a hand behind the other’s back, pushing him slightly forward.  The boy’s face is blank and exhausted.

“So..” Axel starts, “This is Vanitas.”

“We’ve met,” Xion says then frowns. “Well.... sorta. Hi Vanitas, nice to officially meet you.”

Vanitas doesn’t say anything, his eyes still blank– still golden like Xehanort’s.  

 

.

It’s unspoken but Vanitas ends up sticking with them.

That first night, then after when they leave for Twilight Town.  It’s all because of Axel who sees another stray child, lost and broken like them.  Vanitas gets angry easily, frustrated, and can be a real dick when he wants to be. But he’s also strangely quiet at times and he hides from all of them for days sometimes.  Axel means well but he’s too loud and outgoing for Vanitas– Xion is better at it.  Roxas doesn’t get to interact with him with much at first, mostly because Vanitas avoids him. He’s pretty sure it’s because he looks like Ventus– there’s more to it than that, he’s sure. Roxas remembers how Ventus had hesitated when Aqua had called Vanitas a monster, had seen him look back when they all went their separate ways, with Vanitas leaving with them. There’s something there he doesn’t really understand.

Eventually, they do talk without it being too weird. They find they have a lot in common, both have a dark streak, they get annoyed easily, their sense of humor is similar.  It’s nice to have someone who has a dark sense of humor and doesn’t get offended easily. When everyone meets up at Destiny Island, when Axel goes to hang out with Ven and Saix and Xion meets up with Namine, Roxas usually sticks with Vanitas.  Sometimes they join Xion and Namine, who is too nice for her own good, but Vanitas seems to like her. She doesn’t look at him with hatred or pity— she treats him like a person. 

Vanitas goes through waves. Some days he's his usual self, a little bit of a jerk but not vicious in intent. Others he's like a zombie, unsure of everything that's happening around him.

“It hurts when we're apart,” he explains one day. “I'm just half of something and my other half isn't with me.” It's some of the most honest words Roxas has heard from him.

“You mean Ventus. What if he was here?”

Vanitas laughs. It sounds more like a gasping sob, almost hysterical. “He's not incomplete anymore. Sunshine boy fixed him... so I'm just— I'm just here.”

“It could still help you.” Roxas tries again, trying to understand. “Him being here, it could help you.”

“He doesn't want to be here.” It's whispered like he's trying to hide the fact that he's crying. His shoulders are shaking. “He’s never wanted me.”

There are no words said after that. All Roxas can do is sit there, putting a hand on the other's shoulder, hoping that it's enough.

 

.

 

Time passes.

They train together just to keep in shape, just in case keyblade wielders are needed again. Vanitas is reckless, he gets hurt all the time even when he's the one that wins. At first, they just brush it off as him being careless but as time goes by Roxas has his doubts. There’s nothing he can really say about it without ending in a fight, so he lets Vanitas be for the moment.

One day when they end training early due to rain, Roxas finds him standing outside, totally uncaring of getting soaked.  He’s about to scold him for it when Vanitas starts speaking.

“I’ve never seen rain before. Kinda hard when you live in a desert.”

“Desert?”

“The Keyblade Graveyard.”

That caught Roxas's attention. Vanitas didn't talk much about his past, which was something they were trying to fix. Axel had been reading some books on the subject of people with trauma, and that they need to talk about it in order to heal. All of them had traumatic events in their lives, there was no contest on who had the most fucked up backstory, but sometimes Roxas thought Vanitas had them all beat. 

“It’s where Xehanort would leave me and where we would train.” He laughs. “If you wanna call that training I guess… sadistic bastard.”

Roxas doesn’t know what to say to that.  Suddenly getting rained on seemed unimportant and he walks towards Vanitas to stand by him.  “So… you don’t have to talk about it–”

“But you want to know.  Axel wants me to talk about it… Xion is much more subtle than you guys…” he snorts but doesn’t reject where this conversation is going. There’s a beat of silence between the two of them— Roxas doesn’t push anymore and Vanitas doesn’t try to escape.  Taking a deep breath, Vanitas looks at Roxas. “He hurt me. There’s no use sugar-coating it or denying it. He hurt me until I couldn’t stand, until I couldn’t cry anymore, until I would do anything he asked. Didn’t hurt that I was always in pain anyway… being split in half is painful. Who knew, huh?”

“Ventus… he wasn’t hurting before Sora, right? So why you?”

Vanitas shrugs and continues on with a flat tone. “Maybe because I’m just darkness. I’m just a mess of negative shit barely able to hold together.”

Roxas clears his throat, trying to keep his voice calm. “Is that why you wanted to return to Ventus?”

Vanitas nods lost in thought and that ends that particular conversation.

 

.

 

On the days they all meet up at Destiny Island, Vanitas sometimes hides in the shadows and watches Ventus. Roxas only knows this because he joined him a few times. The first time he had things to say about it. Trying to encourage him to talk to Ventus, that Roxas himself would go fetch him, that fuck Aqua and Terra and just talk to the other boy. What he gets is calmness and it sets a bunch of alarms in his head.

“I'm tired of chasing after him. He always rejects me, you know? I'm darkness, I can't change that– If you say darkness doesn't mean bad, I already have Axel drilling that into me.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything!”

Vanitas huffs. “What I mean is, he didn't accept that.” He struggles to continue for a few moments, Roxas doesn't rush him. “I'm trying.”

“And you are doing great.” Roxas grins and bumps his shoulder.

“Hah.” He bumps Roxas back. “I want to be better. For me and… and for you, Xion and Axel… because you guys believe in me. But sometimes I feel like I'm still chasing after Ventus and nothing I do is good enough because he still won't look at me. I don't want to try again— getting his attention I mean.”

They watch as Ventus fake punches Saix, the others laughing along. Like always when Ventus does anything, Vanitas’s eyes glaze over with longing, and with the most intense loneliness Roxas has ever seen.  Vanitas gets up and walks towards the side of where everyone else is playing, like he wants to be there but not. And as always, Roxas follows him. 

He wonders sometimes if this wanting to help Vanitas was something he borrowed from Ventus as well, but he doubts it.  Their shared face is confusing and Roxas has a lot of different feelings towards it, but it’s something he’s still working through.  Like Xion and Vanitas, knowing that they have Sora’s face. Maybe that’s why the three of them get along so well. They have borrowed faces, they were fragments of other people trying to become their own.

When the sun starts to set, everyone starts to say their goodbyes. Xion runs to them, holding seashells in her hands.

“I found some really pretty ones today.” She suddenly grabs Vanitas’ hand and shoves a seashell on his hand. “This one made me think of you.”

“Of me?” Vanitas scowls at her. “How so?”

“It has red and black and it’s spikey.”

“That could be Axel!”

“Hmmm, true but I think it’s more like you.  It’s a pretty shell.”

“Okay?”

“You’re a pretty boy, Vani.” She giggles when he glares at her. “Don’t be ashamed of it, there are so many people who would kill to look like you.”

  
“T-that’s fucking—”

“I agree with our dear Xion.” Axel suddenly slides next to them, wrapping his arms around Xion and Vanitas. “Sora is the adorable version, while you’re the dark and mysterious one. In a few years, you’re gonna be unfairly pretty.”

“What!?” 

That catches the attention of some of the others at the beach.  Riku is confused but amused from what Roxas could tell. Sometimes Riku would come to see them—most importantly, he was respectful towards Vanitas, despite the fact that having Sora’s face definitely set him on edge. Terra and Aqua look at them for a moment and thank god Vanitas is distracted because he doesn’t know how he would react if they made eye contact.  It hasn’t happened yet and Roxas knows it’s impossible to avoid it forever, but damn it to hell if they didn’t do their best to avoid that. Aqua’s face is blank, there’s a hint of anger— she’s asked before why they keep ‘that monster’ around, and she had not expected the anger directed at her. Xion and Axel had been calmer about it, but Roxas had snapped at her.

“You don’t know anything about him, so don’t start.”

Before she can go on her rant about Vanitas trying to kill them, he had walked away.  

Axel and Roxas had tried to kill each other before.  Xion and Roxas. Sora and Riku. It wasn’t right, but it was all instigated by Xehanort. Vanitas was the same.  Did he need to apologize? Of course he did, but he’s never given a chance to.

Terra seems confused by what he sees, then intrigued but then turns around when Aqua walks away. Then there’s Ventus and he… well. His face is blank like Aqua’s, but there’s an underlining of something Roxas can’t recognize.  Turning his attention back to his friends, Roxas ducks under Axel, then pressing himself against Vanitas, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Hey, take the compliment, pretty boy.”

“Ugh,” Vanitas groans. “Not you too.”

The other three laugh which makes Vanitas groan again, but the corners of his mouth start turning up.

“Are you guys going to start fighting for my affections?”

“Oooh!  We all have to take Vanitas on dates!” Xion’s eyes are almost sparkling at the thought. “I have so many ideas already!”

“So it’s settled.” Axel grins and leans closer to Vanitas. “We take Vani here on dates, he’ll judge our skills in the art of courting, and then we’ll know who’s the most charming out of us.”

“What about Vanitas? Doesn’t he have to take someone on a date?” Xion teases.

“Nope. I already know I have a shitty personality.”

Roxas is about to say something, none of them like to hear Vanitas talk bad about himself but the boy waves him off.

“Save it.  Besides—” Vanitas smirks, batting his eyes at him. “I’m definitely more into the idea of all you buying me food.”

They all laugh together and it’s such a stereotypical moment but Roxas loves it.  It’s easy in moments like these to forget that there’s still so much to work through.  He looks up just in time to see Ventus looking at Vanitas, before making eye contact with Roxas.  They stare at each other for a few moments until Ventus suddenly walks away without looking back.

 

.

 

“Is he okay?” Riku whispers to Roxas while pointing at Vanitas who’s across the room talking to the King.  They had found some of Xehanort’s notes in a language they couldn’t understand. Their first attempt had been going to the Land of Departure but that had been no help. Apparently, Ventus recognize the language but couldn’t actually read it.  It had been Riku’s idea to ask Vanitas, hoping maybe he remembered and as luck would have it he did. Roxas was just glad that the King was being so respectful while talking to Vanitas.

“What do you mean?” Roxas takes a few steps back away from Riku.  While he didn’t feel the need to punch him anymore, their relationship was still a work in progress.  

Riku frowns as he looks at Vanitas. “Did he always bite his nails?”

Roxas blinks in response, turning his gaze back to Vanitas.  He tries to remember if he’s ever seen that and comes back blank.  

“Nervous habit he developed?”

“Maybe it’s Mickey. He was telling me that he fought against Vanitas once.”

Roxas snorts at that.

“Has everyone fought everyone at this point?”

Riku chuckles and looks at the King and Vanitas talking.  There were other things that Roxas was noticing now— the slight cockiness that he associates with Vanitas is not there, he’s almost curled into himself with his arms close to his body.  He bring a hand up to his face and as Riku had pointed out, bites on his thumb nail. It’s a little strange and concerning, but Riku is probably right about Vanitas just being nervous.  
  


.

 

One day when Ventus comes to see Axel and Saix, while Vanitas actually stays away instead of hiding in the shadows and trying to sneak peeks at Ventus, Roxas overhears a conversation between Saix and Ventus.

“How…” Ventus’ voice is soft, almost like he doesn’t even want Saix to hear him. “How’s Vanitas doing?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

There’s silence for a long time, Saix patiently waiting for an answer while Roxas is about to make himself known and demand an answer.  “I… I don’t think he wants to talk to me.”

“Ven.”

Ventus groans, followed by shuffling and footsteps.  By the sound of it, he’s pacing. “I won’t forget what he did, but I know it wasn’t all on him and… and I want him to know that but while I didn’t– I didn’t know what Xehanort was doing to him but that doesn't matter because I still wasn’t there for him. How can he forgive that?”

Roxas wants to laugh at how stupid this is but he can’t help grinning and silently walking away.  He doesn’t hear what Saix says back because he doesn’t need to, he knows how the other feels about all this.  Vanitas has a defense squad, whether he realizes it or not. Being in a good mood, he stops to buy two popsicles and looks for Vanitas, finding him in the forest leaning against a tree.  His eyes are closed and when he gets closer, Roxas sees earbuds in his ears. He pulls on one which earns him a glare but it’s pacified when Roxas pushes one of the popsicles at him. The glare stays but it’s definitely more for show now, because Vanitas tries hard to keep his ‘I’m a dick’ energy even if he’s not fooling anyone in Twilight Town.

“Okay, what do you want?” Vanitas mumbles out, pulling the other earbud out.

“Why do you think I want something? I just wanted to be nice and here you are, being an asshole.”

“Hm.”

In the quietness of the forest, without any interruptions and worries, Roxas thinks maybe telling Vanitas about what he overheard today.  It’s something that both Ventus and him need to deal with together, but Roxas wanted to give Vanitas something to hope for, to grab onto and know that he isn’t alone in this loneliness.  It isn’t any of his business, as much as Roxas wants to get involved when it comes to helping his friend. They need to go at their own pace, don’t they?

Roxas just hopes that Ventus doesn’t take too long.

 


	2. Xion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xion does not hate Ventus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! I was in the hospital for a bit :D Also thank you so much for all the kudos and comments!

Xion does not hate Ventus.  

Maybe Roxas tries to, or maybe he really does. Who knows.  But Axel and Saix have a past with Ventus, a good one from what she gathers.  This added layer in the form of Vanitas didn’t damper that friendship. As far as Axel figured, this was actually helpful.  Xion wasn’t so sure.

“Ven is a good guy.” Axel grins, “It’ll work out.” 

Xion sighs, kicking back on the couch that they’re currently sitting on.  “Okay, but he isn’t doing anything. I mean, neither is Vani but you know…”

“I don’t think Vanitas will take that first step.” Saix speaks up, pushing Axel to make room for him. The red-head pouts but moves closer to Xion.  

“Can’t say I blame him. It’s up to Ven to make a move and it’s something he’s gotta do on his own.”

The pointed look that both Saix and Axel give Xion makes her glare back. “I wasn’t going to do anything.”

“Right.”

“Of course.”

Xion scoffs at them as she leaves. Jerks.

She has to admit that their teasing is an actual concern.  For the past week or so, Xion has been so close to dragging Ventus to Twilight Town and forcing him inside Vanitas’ room.  But of course, she wouldn’t do something crazy like that! Saix and Axel can shove it, she isn’t stupid enough to do something like that, it’s just that...

Xion just wants Vanitas to be happy and she wants it now. 

There was something about Vanitas that was starting to scare her.  Nothing like what Aqua thinks. What scares Xion is how he acts towards himself.  Xion has seen how he digs his nails into his palms, how he bites the inside of his mouth, biting his nails to the point that he bleeds.  She doesn’t know if she should say something. 

She doesn’t know what to do.

 

.

  


Vanitas never went with them to the Land of Departure, for obvious reasons.  While they were away, he would either spend time with Hayner or laze around Twilight Town. Roxas would always let Hayner know when Vanitas was going to be alone, so he could drag his ass out into the world instead of hiding and mopping.  It’s funny how diligent he and the rest of the gang could be when it came to Vanitas. It’s nice to see other people outside of their circle try to befriend and get to know him. They don’t know anything about his past, they have no preset opinions, no past issues. They can tell that he’s been through something– the way he jumps when they are surrounded by too many people, how he tends to blend away in the shadows hoping to hide away.  But they don’t judge him for it, and that is something Xion is grateful for.  

Brining Vanitas to Twilight Town had been the right choice in the end.  Vanitas never would have been able to function if he had followed Ventus to the Land of Departure.  He wasn’t welcomed there.  

And if Xion was honest, she didn’t think the rest of them were welcomed either.  Aqua seemed to want them there, wanted to connect and train new keyblade wielders, wanted to pick up where her master had left off.  She made an effort to try and talk to all of them, and Xion wasn’t going to be rude and reject her. Xion wants that too. She wants to belong.  But there’s something in their way and that’s Vanitas. It’s the most ridiculous thing.  

Aqua doesn’t have to love Vanitas but she has to learn to accept that he’s here to stay.  It’s honestly not that hard. Xion herself had not liked Saix at first, but after getting over herself and giving him a chance, she saw that he wasn't that what she thought he was.  Like them, he had been wrapped around Xehanort's plans. Xemnas had been an extension of that hold, and Xion can't be sure but with Saix… there was something more there, something deeper. Something he definitely did not want to talk about, so she won't push but she can't help but be curious.

Halfway during drills, things fall apart.  She didn't hear or know what set it off, but Aqua and Axel are yelling at each other.  Even if they couldn't hear them, both of them already knew what it was about.

“He’ll hurt Ven!” Aqua growls out, getting into Axel’s personal space, not caring how much taller he was. “ If you keep him around and he comes to hurt him, I swear–”

Axel sneers.“He won’t even look at Ven! And what the fuck do you want us to do?” behind Axel, Saix is being held back by Terra. “You wanna kill the kid? Is that what you want?”

Aqua’s eyes burn. “If it comes to it–”

“Aqua, that’s enough!”  Ventus steps between the two of them, pushing Aqua back. “Just stop!"

It was like a total transformation, how Aqua had gone from pure rage to a distressed panic. “Ven… I-I don’t want you to get hurt and he hurt you.”

Ventus closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, reaching out to hold one of her hands. “I know Aqua… but I… I hurt him too and I don’t want to do that anymore.  I just want to fix things now. Why won’t you let me, Aqua?” There’s a desperation to his tone by the end.

The way they stare at each other, the words that had been said– they had this conversation before. Terra lets go of Saix, walking towards Ventus and pushing him back away from Aqua.  It isn’t forceful, but Xion wonders if there was a concern there, if Ventus had lashed out at Aqua before. It is a weird thought, those three resorting to any kind of violence. There isn’t a lot that she knows about those three besides the basics of their situation involving Xehanort.

While the trio concentrates on each other, Xion feels someone pull on her arm and turns to look at the culprit.  Saix gently pulls her away, following with Axel who has to drag Roxas. The blond looks angry, keeps trying to pull away, glaring at the three they are leaving behind. Axel pulls on his arm hard enough to force the other to look at him.  The two of them stare at each other for a moment, Axel begging with his eyes and Roxas demanding to be let go. Their standstill ends when Saix puts a hand on Roxas’ shoulder, meeting his glare with one of his own.

The ride back to Twilight Town is tense.

When they make it back, Vanitas greets them from his lying position on the couch. “You guys are back early.”  He doesn’t look up from his gummi phone.

Saix takes a deep breath and steps forward, grabbing the phone (while Vanitas growls) and motioning for Vanitas to follow him into the kitchen, leaving no room for questions.  The teen sighs all dramatically but gets up to follow. When he looks back at the rest of them, Axel is already laughing, while Roxas turns up the dramatics and takes Vanitas’ spot on the couch.  Xion forces herself to grin. It hurts. Vanitas just rolls his eyes at them and leaves towards the kitchen.

The trio stays back– Roxas is staring at the ceiling, a frown on his face and opening and closing his mouth.  He looks at Xion and then at Axel, scoffing and groaning. “Can we pretend that didn’t happen?”

Axel stares back at him for a beat, then turning his head towards the kitchen.  “I… yeah. He doesn’t deserve to hear something like that, yeah?” he sighs and looks back at the other two.  “That was some fucked up shit that just happened.”

“I hate her so much.” Roxas grumbles to himself.  “At least Ventus isn’t putting up with that but honestly… how many times do you think they’ve fought like that?”

“From the looks of it? A lot.  Look…” Axel lifts Roxas’ legs up, sitting down and letting the blonde place them back down on his lap. “All of us are dealing with all this trauma and Aqua is no exception.  She was trapped in the Realm of Darkness and that’s not something you just brush off.”

Xion is half listening to them, eyes glued on the hallway leading to the kitchen.  She doesn’t want Vanitas to walk into this, doesn’t want him to know what horrible things had been said about him today.  He’s been having good days lately, and she doesn’t want that ruined for him. He hasn’t been isolating himself as much as he used to, he tries to open up to them and not hide away when he’s hurting.  Vanitas is starting to see that he isn’t alone and Xion refuses to see that be torn apart because Aqua can’t deal with her own issues. Because Ventus can’t make himself take that first step.

“Don’t fucking excuse her bullshit.”

“I’m not.  But you need to ease up on her.”

Xion is startled when Roxas suddenly jumps up, pulling Axel up by his collar.

“Like hell I will!” Roxas whispers harshly back. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Just listen, okay?” Axel pleads. “She doesn’t mean it, you hear me?  She’s just as messed up as the rest of us, and she’s scared for her family. She really has no reason to worry but it’ll take a while for that feeling to go away.” When Roxas lets go of him, Axel slums down onto the couch, head lulling back.  “Vanitas really fucked around with those three and yes, I know that it was Xehanort manipulating and abusing the kid, but it still happened. She doesn’t know those things. I don’t even think Ventus really knows about it either.”

“You’re really asking for too much.” Roxas growls out, eyes darting back to the hallway.  “I refuse, okay? Vanitas is my friend–”

“And that’s why you need to ease up!” Axel whispers, standing up.  He places a hand on Roxas’ shoulder, looking at Xion as he speaks. “This isn’t what Vanitas wants either, you both know it.  If she talks bullshit, of course stand up for him but don’t go out of your damn way to cause trouble. All of us are so fucked up already.  Can’t we just…” he breaks eye contact with Xion to look at Roxas again. The way his eyes seem to beg, it makes Xion look away from them. She stares out the window instead.  “Can’t we just try to get along and be okay? Together?”

The sounds of Saix and Vanitas talking take over the silence.  They can’t hear what words are being said, but they are calm and cheerful, a total contrast to what had been happening out here.  There’s shifting to her side, and she doesn’t have to look to know what’s happening.  

Xion closes her eyes, taking a deep breath and when that’s done, she put smiles as best she can and turns to look at these two dumb boys she loves and tries her best to hug them both.

They don’t say anything, not until Vanitas is calling them all to their small kitchen, and by then, her smile is real.

 

.

  


A couple of days after that disastrous day at the Land of Departure, Xion finds herself alone with Vanitas.

Not that this was rare in any way, but it had been a while.  They pack up a few snacks and head out to the forest by the abandoned mansion.  This is Vanitas’ favorite place in Twilight Town without a doubt. She doesn’t really understand why that is, he has never tried to explain it to her, but that’s fine.  In his own time, if he ever wants her to know.

Hanging out with Vanitas is mostly comfortable silence, sharing snacks, softly talking about the new music he’s found, opening up slowly.  Xion doesn’t mind it, this slow progress. It takes time and a willingness to bare yourself to someone else, and that’s the hardest thing Xion has ever had to do.  She’s sure that this is downright terrifying for Vanitas.

“Sometimes… I wish I had found another way.”

Vanitas opens his eyes in acknowledgment. “Another way?”

“Instead of fighting Roxas… a way for the three of us to escape.  I know that was probably impossible but I always have this doubt that maybe… I dunno, if I had tried harder.”

“There’s no use thinking about that.  If there was, you can’t do anything about it.”

Xion hums in response. She sits up against the brick wall of the front gate.  “How about you? Do you have anything you think you could have done differently?”

When Vanitas doesn’t say anything, Xion knows she messed up and is about to apologize when Vanitas interrupts.  “Looking back on it now… maybe. But back then, I didn’t see any other way but to follow my master. I had no purpose, no goals… I was empty.  And then he gave me a purpose and that was that. I just wanted to be whole again.”

“Did you ever think about just going up to Ventus and asking him really nicely to let you back in?”

Vanitas snorts out a laugh and grins. “If only it were that easy!  Nah… I never thought of even going behind the master’s back. He wanted what I wanted, in a sense.  To form the x-blade also meant being whole again. To be me again. To be …” he hesitates. “To be ‘Ventus’ again.  I just wanted to be ‘us’ again.”

Xion lets that sink in for a few minutes, to really absorb what she’d just heard.  In a way, she understands. She’s Sora… kind of. And Roxas. And Roxas is Sora. So… she understands that desire to be complete, but in a way, she had never really wanted to go back.  She had been willing, but her true wish had been to just… just stay with Roxas and Axel. Because she made connections, because she learned to feel, she wanted to stay. Roxas had not wanted to give Sora back his body for similar reasons, even if he didn’t remember their time in the Organization at the time.

Vanitas was different in that way.  He had nothing, so he wanted to have back the only thing he knew of.  Because he was ‘Ventus’.  

“It’s crazy… how you are ‘Ventus’, but not really.  Was Ventus ‘fixed’ while in Sora? I mean, since you are his darkness, did he just… form a new ‘darkness’... or like, is he just light? How does that work?”

Vanitas laughs.  It wasn’t like it used to be, all empty and self-mocking.  It was like a real laugh. Xion feels a little bit of excitement over it.  “I honestly don’t know? But… I guess the more accurate thing to say is… that neither of us are real ‘Ventus’ anymore.  Together we were, but separate we are… I guess we’re different people now, aren’t we? That was hard to accept, you know?”

Xion watches as Vanitas sits up next to her.  He doesn’t look upset, just thoughtful. When he doesn’t say anything, she wonders if she should prompt him for more, or if she should just let it go and be happy with how much he had already said.  This was so much already, so much more than what she had been expecting. But something that she has learned in the past months, is that Vanitas is someone who’s full of surprises. He turns towards her and keeps talking.

“One day, I woke up with Sora’s face.  Back then, of course I didn't know whose face this was and even worse… it wasn’t my face.  Wasn’t our face. Later I come to learn it isn’t even completely Sora’s face. The color scheme is all wrong. “ He grins. “It’s that Xehanort touch, I guess.”

“Were you upset?” Xion asks softly.  She already knows the answer.

“Yeah. I tried to… oh shit.” Here’s where he finally hesitates, and Xion is about to stop him.  He’s already pushed so far, he doesn’t have to keep going.

“It’s okay.”

“No.” Vanitas says softly.  “No, I want to tell you.” He turns to look at her in the eyes. “I didn’t have a face at first.  I was just… like an Unversed, actually. Then I had a face and it wasn’t mine and as time went by, I came to hate it so much.  I tried to… rip off my face but eventually, I just got over it. I rationalized it as… Ventus being weak and not wanting to associate myself with him in a way.  The real ‘Ventus’ was going to be resurrected anew, and I was going to be his starting point. The end result wouldn’t have been me or Ventus. I guess. I dunno… this is so fucking confusing sometimes.  I feel like I wasn’t really thinking straight. It didn’t help that I was in agony the whole time.”

“I wasn’t rational either when things started to go wrong. But from what I gather, you don’t see yourself as the original? Or even Ventus?” Xion asks in wonder because this is completely different from what she has been led to believe.  Granted, that was from bits and pieces of random arguments she had heard Aqua make.

“That ‘Ventus’ is dead. Xehanort killed him.” he sounds sad when he says this. “It… makes me angry that Ventus doesn’t think about these things, you know? About what we have lost, about that boy who died because some crazy old guy who thought he knew better than everyone else. Of course, he doesn’t think about those things because he lucked out with Aqua and Terra.  He got a family and a fucking happy ending. I got Xehanort.”

He lets the silence stretched between them, probably running his own words through his head.  Like the rest of them, sometimes speaking things out loud lets you see the truth better, or just understand a little more of the things that happened to them. Vanitas rolls his eyes and smirks. “I don’t know if I’m wrong for clinging to the past and wanting some sort of closure, or if Ventus is wrong for just ignoring everything that happened and just… moving on and staying ignorant to his own loss of memories… I just know that I’m angry he doesn’t mourn the death of ‘Ventus’ and just goes on with our body, without a care in the world. I know that this isn’t entirely true, before you try and correct me.  I’m sure he’s dealing with his own baggage right now. But because he won’t acknowledge it, in a way, I can’t move on. I need that closure.”

They sit in silence after that.  

 

.

  


It’s been three months since everything ended.

Healing is slow and difficult, takes so much out of all of them.  Maybe some of them had it harder than others but they don’t compare their pain to one another.  Saix still looks haunted when he’s alone, jumps just a little when someone enters the room he’s in.  Sometimes, Roxas doesn’t want to see anyone from Twilight Town, doesn’t want to see Hayner or the others because they are not the ones he got to know.  Xion has to know where everyone is, always. The thought of all of them being gone or taken away, that fear is something she isn’t sure will ever go away.   Vanitas still hides in the shadows, still has trouble finding who he is, letting himself be free to make his own choices.

All of them still have to heal but they are not alone, and together they are so strong, stronger than she ever thought possible.  She’s grateful to Sora, for holding them inside his heart and keeping them safe, but this group of friends, this family she’s gained… this is what she really needed.

And she’s so grateful for that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated!


	3. Saix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They bond over being 'extras' in the 'sea salt trio'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long! I've been going through some things but I'm doing my best to push through it! Reading and leaving your thoughts will definitely help :D or just lurking honestly, I'm excited to know you guys are liking my self-indulgent writings. I also posted another fic (i knoooowww!!) but this fic, I wrote that like a day after I finished the game back in February... it's been in my head for so long and re-reading it... I'm pretty happy with it! If you like, please read that one too!

Second chances are earned.

This is something that Saix learned through his friendship with Axel.

Second chances are earned through self-awareness and a willingness to change.  If you don’t want to be better or if you are not willing to accept help, then nothing will change and your second chance will slip through your fingers. 

He remembers coming to, seeing Axel again along with Roxas and Xion– Vanitas standing behind them, hiding in the shadows.  His knowledge of Vanitas had been limited back then, only knowing bits and pieces from Xemnas who only knew enough from Xehanort.  If he had cared, Saix would have asked Xemnas if he remembered Vanitas from before. Even now if he could go back, Saix probably wouldn’t have asked him.  Xehanort saw Vanitas as someone to be used. Just like Xemnas but that’s obvious– they are the same person in a sense.

Being used is something every person who was involved in this mess had in common, and experiences aren’t as unique as people think, but in their small group, Saix and Vanitas have a particular thing in common.

Technically, they are both outsiders.  Both of them feel like they don’t belong with the other three, the main trio. They know they are cared for, loved, accepted… but that feeling of being an extra probably wouldn’t go away any time soon.  This is fine because Saix knows that with time, this will also heal.

But this feeling is something that Vanitas and he have bonded over.  There are moments those three will go off and do their own thing, and then the leftovers find things to do.  Not that they would ever fault them over it. Those three can be so overwhelming, and Vanitas and him like their quiet moments.

Vanitas’ favorite place is the forest by the abandoned mansion, it’s quiet and isolated and no one goes out there.  Saix’s favorite places are the empty alleyways they find, sometimes they even go to Traverse Town which is filled with them.  They don’t wander out into many worlds anymore, although he’s tempted to. To see those worlds without worry, to actually experience them… maybe someday.  He doesn’t know if Vanitas would like something like that. Maybe he would, after having to be ‘trapped’ in that graveyard for so many years.

He wants to ask but that isn’t the kind of relationship they have.  Sure, they talk about feeling like outsiders with the other three sometimes, but they don’t talk about the past to each other.  It’s kind of like… an understanding that they have. The past hurts and they know they have to talk about it, to move on from it but it isn’t something they want to do all the time.  And so with each other they have an understanding that they don’t have to do that. With each other, they look forward instead. They are not ignoring the problem, because they talk about it with others but they need a safe space where they don’t have to be reminded of it.

Saix doesn’t ask about Ventus and in turn, Vanitas doesn’t ask about Xemnas although the boy doesn’t know that he’s the topic Saix has been avoiding. Oh, he knows he can’t do that forever, that eventually he’ll have to deal with that can of worms and push through it.  The others have a bad history with Xemnas too but Saix’s is so much more complicated.

They might already know about it but by avoiding the topic, Saix doesn’t have to talk about it.  But here with an ‘outsider’ in regards of Organization XIII, Saix doesn’t even have to worry about it.

So Vanitas is his safe space.

  


.

  


They sit by a couple of travelers that are passing by.  Traverse Town is filled with travelers at all times, being a port town of sorts.  It’s refreshing in a way, to meet so many people that they’ll never see again. Vanitas likes it, meeting people who don’t know who he is.

Starting over.

“So where are you guys from?”  One of them asks Vanitas. 

“We live in Twilight Town if you have ever heard of it.”

“Oh yeah, we saw the clock tower there once.  It’s nice.”

“That damn clock tower… there’s more to it than just that!” Vanitas scoffs at them, leaning back against the wall.  “It’s like the only thing everyone ever talks about.”

“Okay smart guy, what’s the best part of Twilight Town?”

Vanitas grins. “There’s this forest that no one goes to, and beyond it is this empty mansion.  They say it’s haunted.”

Saix rolls his eyes.

“Haunted? Really?”

“Oh yes,” Vanitas smirks and leans towards the man, eyes filled with mischief. “They say there’s a witch in white that lives there.  A long time ago, a boy went inside to look for her and he never came back.”

Listening to Vanitas tell a bastardized version of Roxas finding Namine was amusing, but Saix wondered where he was going with this.

“Oh man… we should go check that out!”

“If you guys want, I can take you there.”  He leans closer, his eyes closing halfway, his voice husking a little at the end.  Saix blinks slowly at that. Is Vanitas… flirting with this guy?

The man in question beams at him, leaning just a tad closer, his voice quiet and rough. “Next time I’m around for sure.  Can I have your number?”

While they exchange numbers, Saix sits there, dumbfounded at what was happening in front of him.  What is Vanitas doing? Is he really…?

The man and his friends wave at them as they walk away, the girls of the group cooing at the man and teasing him.  Saix just turns towards Vanitas who grins at him, pulling out his gummy phone and texting away. “What was that about?”

“Just trying to make some munny and have some fun.”  He shows Saix his phone screen, a new text sent to… Namine?

_Hey wanna help me prank someone???_

Saix stares at the screen before bursting out laughing.

  


.

  
  


For some reason, Ventus had decided that Saix would be his source for Vanitas’ info. It’s because he is the safer option. Roxas would never, no way in hell, even if Ventus got on his knees and begged him.  Xion might think she’s being approachable but her eyes become steel when they meet Ven’s. Axel is too overbearing, tries so hard to encourage Ven to come to their home and talk things out with Vanitas. Saix on the other hand, doesn’t force him.

“How’s he doing?” Ven’s voice is soft, always afraid that he would be denied.  “I haven't seen him in a while.”

“We don’t think he should be around Aqua, especially after that last shouting match she had with Axel.  He doesn’t deserve to hear something like that.”

Ven’s face is pained, he looks away..  “I wish… I could get her to understand why I want to be close to him.  At first, I didn’t understand why I wanted him around.”

“He’s your other half.” Saix simply says, sliding down along the palm tree, hiding away from the heat.

“Is it really that simple?”

“Why does it have to be complicated? Sora might have helped you heal but that won’t get rid of whatever you have with Vanitas.”

When Saix looks up, Ven is staring out towards the sea, his eyes bright with understanding.

“Yeah… it’s so strange.  I don’t know why I feel like this… I don’t remember anything really, from being in Sora’s heart but maybe, I dunno, I think Vanitas might have been there?  Or part of him? I just feel like I understand something that I didn’t before. Or maybe it’s Sora that helped me understand. I don’t remember anything before the Land of Departure and I never really cared about that past.  Does he remember anything from before?”

“He’s never talked about it, so I don’t know.  I’m really the wrong person to ask when it comes to these things.  You want to ask me about current things? I’m your guy.”

“Is he happy?”

“He messed around with a couple of travelers a few days ago. It was amusing.”

Ven’s eyes light up.  “What happened?”

Saix grins at him and tells him about Vanitas tricking that man, and Namine scaring the shit out of everyone involved.  It ended well, strangely enough. The man was impressed with the level of dedication Vanitas put into a prank, although his flirting definitely was a one-sided thing.  

Ah, better leave that part out. 

  


.

  


Saix finds himself in this weird in-between, a drawbridge that is slowly lowering down.  On one end Vanitas stands, fidgeting and scared while at the other end, Ventus is ready to charge forward, scared as well but now fully committed and willing to fix things. 

 

He won’t force them into action, that isn’t his place… but he  _can_ subtly push and suggest things, right?  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos, bookmarks or just lurkers, thank you so much for reading!


	4. Axel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been half a year since Xehanort was defeated, and about a month since Riku left to look for Sora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be some issues with this chapter, mostly because I didn't edit it enough and I'm just posting this as it is. While I'm still committed to this fic and my love for Vanitas is everlasting, I have been obsessing over Mo Dao Zu Shi more than usual haha I really want to write something for that fandom. I want to get this fic done with the same passion and dedication that made me write it in the first place, so I'm posting these chapters as I finish them. I'll be going over it later, picking out issues and fixing them up. But please, if you do see anything that sounds strange, let me know!

It’s been half a year since Xehanort was defeated, and about a month since Riku left to look for Sora.

Things had been winding down as far as their little family is concerned.  From living in whatever had been available to them, to be able to live in a house, a small homely place– but it was theirs and that’s all that mattered.  Axel was proud of what the five of them had been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time. It had been hard work from all sides, hard in ways they had never thought it would be.  Having your life on pause for so long had been a challenge for both Axel and Isa. For the others it was adjusting to a ‘normal’ life, nothing involving light and darkness and keyblades. Just the simplicity of going to your 9 to 5 and looking forward to the weekend. 

Roxas had a steady delivery job now, along with Hayner and the rest, something they had started on their own.  Isa did similar things but outside of Twilight Town, helping around Disney Castle and dropping off supplies to the rest of the crew that had been involved in the disaster that their lives had been for the last decade. Xion worked at a shop in town, something relaxing and calm.  She was the only one that worked on weekends sometimes, but nothing too distressing. Axel worked at the Bristo, not cooking because everyone would probably die, as Vanitas had nicely put it. He just helped with whatever was needed, be it deliveries and picking up supplies.

Vanitas was the only one who didn’t have a job, but no one was pushing him over it.  Being surrounded by strangers still made him freeze up, he still had a hard time not melting into the shadows if he felt cornered.  But doing nothing was also not helping, so Isa jokingly told him to clean the house and make them dinner.

And he actually did it.

And not only was he pretty good at keeping up with chores but had also become a decent cook.

“Our housewife.” Roxas teased that night. “Be a good wife and get dinner started.”

 

Vanitas rolled his eyes and punched his arm. “That’s sexist, get with the times...but also dinner is already done so stop bitching and eat it.  I worked hard on it.”

Vanitas was really good at things like that.  None of them had known how to cook at first, Isa and Axel had never been known to cook and Roxas, Xion, and Vanitas had just come from situations in which they didn’t need to eat, so there had been no need to even think of feeding themselves. They had some ridiculous attempts, lots of frustration but also laughter but eventually, Vanitas just became good at it.  

He liked to learn.  

He had never been given the chance to do things for himself, to do more than what Xehanort had wanted from him, so things like these, no matter how trivial or silly they were, they were things he liked to do.

It took him a couple of months to be completely comfortable and confident in his skills, but he did and had no issues letting them know how shitty their cooking was.

 

“I thought women were supposed to be good at cooking.” Vanitas would grumble when it was Xion’s turn to cook.  “You overcooked the meat. Again.”

 

“I thought it was sexist to assume stuff like that, Vani…” she glared when Vanitas laughed. “You do it next time.”

 

“I vacuumed today. You guys shed so much, especially Saix and Axel.  Get a fucking haircut.”

 

Axel grinned as they continued to bicker and tease each other. 

He loved his makeshift family. 

 

.

  
  


“Hey Vani, wanna help me with groceries?.” Axel casually said, trying to seem as normal as possible.  

 

Vanitas nods as he looks at his gummi phone, typing something at an incredible speed before sliding the phone in his pocket and getting up. “Let me find my shoes.”

 

Axel nods even though Vanitas was already running towards his room. Clicking his fingers, Axel sags against the wall while he waits.  He had been dreading having this conversation with Vanitas but it was something that could not be ignored anymore. All of them had noticed this, Roxas and Xion voicing their concerns to him, while Isa would stare at Vanitas and then Axel, making sure he had seen it as well.  It had been building up for a few months now, had been so subtle at first that they didn’t really question it.  

 

The biting of his fingernails all the way down to his skin, getting hurt while training in ways that didn’t make sense, the Unversed popping up and attacking Vanitas.  Other little things, like skipping meals and looking exhausted for the rest of the day. Axel had known what self-harming was but he never knew it could be like this. He knew of cutting and maybe eating disorders but nothing like what Vanitas was doing to himself.

In that small amount of time as he waited for the kid to come back out, he tried to plan out what to say, ran scenarios of how Vanitas would react, the anger or fear.  What if he lost control of his emotions and Unversed started to attack? He would never think Vanitas dangerous in the way Aqua did, but the kid was essentially a weapon and a strong one at that.

Vanitas comes stomping towards him, raising an eyebrow at the troubled expression on Axel’s face. “What’s with you?”

“Hah… nothing. Ready?”

Vanitas stared back, something running through his eyes before settling and sighing, a small smile coming up.  It was so rare to see this kind of smile on him, Axel couldn’t help but ruffle his hair, earning him a snort.

The walk towards the store was mostly quiet, Axel’s stomach a knot of nervousness, cursing himself for not saying anything.  They get to the store in silence and Axel sighs, realizing that he wasted his chance– he’s going to have to plan something else, but when he was about to walk in, Vanitas pulls him back and pulls him along, continuing their walk. Axel stares at him, confused.

Vanitas sighs and looks at him. “You want to talk… I’m not stupid.  So come… stop wasting my time.”

Axel sighs and grins sadly. “I’m not as sneaky as I would like to be.”

“None of you are but that’s fine.  Just say you wanna talk next time, alright? If I don’t wanna talk, I won’t and if it’s important you are allowed to pester me about it.”

Axel laughs, this kid was such a brat.

“Okay… well then, let’s go.”

They walk together.

 

.

 

When they get to somewhere that’s more deserted, Axel begins.

“You’re hurting yourself.”

Vanitas stumbles a little at the bluntness of that statement, but he doesn’t back down. “You mean… with the Unversed?” he looks at Axel, who nods. “I don’t mean to do that but it must be something I’m looking for, they do what I feel so I guess I  _ am _ hurting myself.”

“Not just that.  The nail bitting too.  Look at your fingers man… they are so raw and flaky.”

Both of them look at Vanitas’ fingers, bitten to his skin.  The boy shoves his hands into his pockets.

“I… don’t know why I do that either. Well no,” he pauses and looks up at Axel. “I guess I kinda do know why I’m doing this but it’s so fucking stupid and fucked up… the old man is dead so why am I doing this?”

Axel stops walking suddenly, Vanitas walks a few steps ahead and turns around to face him.

“What do you mean? What does he have to do with anything?”

It takes him a long time to find the words but Axel waits patiently.  His mouth opens and closes at first, he stammers and hesitates to speak but Axel still waits.  Despite everything, despite what the rest thought of him, despite the lack of freedom and autonomy in his life, Vanitas knows what he wants.  Maybe Ven had understood back then, when Vanitas told him and Sora that he knew what he was, maybe he understood that Vanitas understood himself, that he wasn’t confused.

But he had a hard time explaining and putting his feelings into words.  It was something they were working on, so Axel let him work through it on his own. Vanitas would not appreciate someone putting words in his mouth.  He’s had enough of that in his life.

The sky darkens by the time Vanitas speaks.

“I was always in pain from being incomplete...and my master– I mean Xehanort would hurt me, while we trained.” his voice was soft, he almost sounds like Sora. “And when he brought me to him again because of Ventus shattering us, I was hurting still and I had to drag my falling apart body around and try to fix myself.  The entire time I just… it hurt so much and then it was over. I didn’t hurt anymore.” Vanitas looks at Axel with desperation. “Nothing hurt anymore and that scared me.”

Before he could even second guess himself, Axel steps forward and pulls Vanitas into his arms, crushing the smaller boy against his chest. 

“Vani.” his voice breaks so he doesn’t say anymore.  Vanitas chuckles softly, arms coming up gently to wrap around his waist.

“Shouldn’t I be the one crying?”

He should be.

That thought just makes Axel cry harder.

 

.

  
  


It becomes a team effort.

Things don’t fix themselves overnight and they have setbacks, but they don’t give up.

It’s a work in progress but they are trying their best.

  
  


.

  
  


While their small family was fixing itself, Axel wondered how everyone else was dealing.  He wasn’t close to the King, or Donald and Goofy. He was sure they were upset because of Sora being gone, and he knows they had been angry about Riku leaving without saying anything.  They probably would have gone with him.

Axel was worried about Kairi of course.  They had become so close while they trained together and now she was gone.  He doesn’t know if she’s… if she’s alive like Sora believed– life isn’t fair and her being gone seemed like a debt that was owned.

Axel hoped he was wrong.

As far as Aqua, Terra and Ven were concerned… that was a mystery to him.  Aqua’s anger towards Vanitas seemed extreme, more than the situation called for. Axel understood that anger in a way, he had been projection some of it towards Isa before.  And this is what he believed she was doing, projecting the anger she held towards Xehanort at Vanitas. As much as they don’t get along, Axel wished he could talk to her about it, to try and help her heal.  He doesn’t know if she’s getting that help with Terra and Ven.

Terra was a can of worms that needed to be dealt with, and one that Axel wasn’t sure was being treated with the care it needed.  From the bits and pieces that Vanitas explained, Master Eraqus condemned Terra for his darkness. LIke Xehanort, the man seemed to go to the other extreme and shamed Terra for it. 

Thinking about their emotional goodbye, maybe the man had regretted his treatment but the damage had been done.  

Both extremes proved to be wrong and there was nothing wrong in walking in the middle.  Axel doesn’t think Terra truly understands that. If the man talked to them, he would see how these children that were born from darkness were able to rise above it and thrive.  How Roxas was more than just an empty husk, how Xion wasn’t just a puppet, how Vanitas was able to pull away from his negativity. 

And then there was Ven.

He actually seemed to be doing the best out of those three.  Maybe being asleep for over a decade had helped him heal more than just his heart.  That time to reflect and think of the things that happened. Axel wonders if he remembers things from the past, like how Vanitas does.  Did he remember how Xehanort tore them apart? Did he regret not trying to understand his other half? Does Ven ever talk about those things with Aqua and Terra?

Probably not, at least not with Aqua, but Axel hopes that he has tried at the very least.

Axel wants to help them too. 

Ventus is his friend and he would like to be friends with Terra and Aqua as well. He just wants everyone to be happy.

 

.

  
  


On a rainy afternoon when all of them get together, when Vanitas is away at the shadows because of Aqua being around, when Namine talks to him gently and he smiles that small and beautiful smile of his, Axel finally realizes that Ventus is in love with Vanitas.

Voicing it out loud, he feels like an idiot, especially at the bored look Roxas gives him.

“Took you that long?”

Axel feels himself blush. “Why would I assume that? They’re like... They used to be the same person!”

“They are completely different people, you know that.  They just come from the same heart, so they’re heartmates!” Xion gushes, eyes sparkling. “I think it’s so romantic.”

“They are so grossly in love… did you really not notice?”

Both of them stare at Axel with wide eyes. Axel has to look away and ends up looking at Ven.  The way he stares at Vanitas, who’s still smiling just a little bit. He doesn’t smile like Sora does, who is honestly always smiling.  It’s small and fragile. He has fucking dimples. Does Sora have them too? Axel has never noticed but he doesn’t think so. In the months that have gone by, Axel has learned that there are many physical differences between Vanitas and Sora.  He wasn’t an exact copy, just like Xion wasn’t either, and those small differences were so telling of their personalities. Of course Vanitas had dimples, they were simply adorable and he could try to deny it but Vanitas was adorable when he wasn’t trying to be a dick.  

Axel would argue that even then, Vanitas was a cute kid. 

“I just… never thought of it like that.”

They keep watching from afar, even when Ven finally looks away. They watch as Vanitas glances at his other half, at Namine gently rubbing his arm and saying something that makes Vanitas take a deep breath and shake his head. They watch as Vanitas walks towards them, not even noticing their stares. Roxas grins and pulls Vanitas along with him towards the beach, rambling about this and that, hoping to bring back that spark back in his eyes.  It works, and Vanitas and Roxas cause a small commotion, catching everyone’s attention.

Axel finds Aqua staring at them but there’s no anger in her gaze.  She looks confused at what she sees, staring clearly at Vanitas as he dunks Roxas underwater, only to be pulled under right after. 

And then something happens. 

Terra is walking towards them with a smile, there was a nervousness to it, his arms stiff against his body, the hesitation when he reached the shoreline.  Roxas acts as Axel expected, he freezes up and puts an aura of danger up, a warning. But Vanitas just looks calmly at Terra, an unspoken question in his eyes, and Terra just smiles back at him, something a little shy and hopeful.  And like he’s seen a million times, Vanitas smirks and rolls his eyes, suddenly bringing an arm up and bringing it down with a vengeance, splashing far enough that it gets Terra if only a little. 

The older man suddenly smirks and it’s an all-out war.

Next to him, Xion squeals and tugs at his arm, and when he looks at her, she is smiling big and wide.

With a slight hesitation, Axel forces himself to look at Aqua and she is smiling slightly, confused and lost but she’s smiling. He can’t help but gasp, catching Xion’s attention.  When asks what’s wrong, he can’t make himself answer but he keeps staring and he isn’t sure if Xion figures out what he was gawking at. He gives himself whiplash when he turns towards Ven.

The blonde is staring with wide eyes, his mouth opening and closing over and over in shock.  It reminds Axel of Vanitas, that day when they spoke of not so pleasant things. Vanitas and Ventus are different people, but sometimes… sometimes they were so alike, it makes Axel laugh. Now that had a different context and damn it all, Axel could be so dense sometimes.

Ven doesn’t join them at the beach, but he stands by Aqua and they watch them sometimes.  Not fully engaged but also not ignoring it, acknowledging but not participating. They speak quietly to each other, eyes darting towards Terra and to the side, and Axel assumes that they are talking about Vanitas as well. Through it all, Aqua is calm and collected, Ven smiles big at her and eventually hugs her.

All of this makes Axel smile.  

So... he had nothing to worry about, huh? Those three had been dealing with their issues after all.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a change to this fic, as far as the direction and ending. I had planned a rather bittersweet ending, not truly happy as far as Vanitas being able to fix things with the wayfinder trio, even with Ventus. I felt like that kind of ending was more rational, not realistic but with how things played out with them, it just made more sense. I still feel that way, that if Vanitas is back, he won't ever be on good terms with them but that's okay. I'm sure Sora would welcome him with open arms because that's just how he is.  
> But I had some things happen in my life that were not very nice hahaha, some awfully sad things and it made me think that I could use some happy endings. Life is hard sometimes, and in the world we live in, the things that happen to us... I think we could use some happiness, right? And so, I changed my original ending and thus changing the length of this story. I'm alright with this, although it makes it harder to finish lol but I want to give this a satisfying conclusion, with an overly happy ending that is earned.  
> I hope everyone enjoys it and thank you for reading! Whether you leave a comment, a kudos or just read without saying anything, thank you so much!

**Author's Note:**

> Will probably fix some stuff up later. Any comments and thoughts are appreciated!


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